Three Life Lessons I Didn’t Know I Needed
Open-minded and willing to be guided
I find myself pondering more and more the current state of affairs brought on by the recent layoffs. Though the Great Recession displaced many more of the workforce as a whole, this period of layoffs feels different to me. Likely, this is due to where I fit in the mix. During the two-year span of the Great Recession, I was just coming into the initial steps of my professional career. I was not in tune with what was going on around me. Now, I am steeped in it though not directly affected.
Smarty was the first person to teach us to cheer for those who fall. This was enlightening.
Daily, I read more from those affected, those giving support, or those who are enraged. This has caused me to be quite introspective to the ups and downs of my own career, the layoff I endured very early on (my layoff story), and the people along the way who taught and who mentored me.
There are three distinct lessons that stand out to me, which I realize are pivotal in bringing me to where I am today. I am still refining myself, and hopefully becoming a better version of myself each day, but it is these three life lessons I didn’t know I needed that shaped me the most.
Lesson 1 — Ask For What You Want
Ok, this may seem like a no-brainer but how many of us actually ask for exactly what we want? I was new to the biggest role of my career thus far. I was leading my first team while new to a role that I could make my own as it was newly open after a solid 20-year run with the same person. I attended an afternoon staff meeting to get a more in-depth view of how things were run. I wasn’t asked to be there, but thought it would be a good idea.
During this meeting, the VP of Operations (my direct supervisor) tasked people with walk-around duties so we could better understand and respond to the organization's needs. I wanted to be part of this new walk-around schedule. It made sense for my role to take on these new, additional responsibilities, but my boss didn’t task me with anything.
These lessons are my constant guides and I reflect on them often. They truly change me for the better.
I started to walk out wishing I had been tasked with these extra duties and I was stopped by the lead carpenter (20+ year tenure and someone seen as a tough, no-nonsense guy) who pulled me aside. He asked me, without prompting, if I wanted to be part of the walk-around team. I told him I did. He said, “you need to tell him (my boss) what you want. Tell him you want to be part of that team. If you don’t ask for it, you won’t get it. Just ask him for what you want.” Then he just walked out the door.
I stood there slightly dumbfounded wondering how he knew that I was toiling with that exact issue, and how, out of the blue, he prompted one of the most pivotal times in my life. My greatest career growth came from my 10 years in that organization, and it was due to that early lesson.
Lesson 2 — Celebrate the Falls…Yes, the Falls
In 2005, I was about 5 years into my decade career with the DC Rollergirls. As a league, we were taking a skating class from Smarty Pants — @getsmartycoaching. There is a lot of falling in roller derby when you are new or learning a new skill.
Smarty was the first person to teach us to cheer for those who fall. This was enlightening. It was empowering for those who fell because they were supported and not left feeling vulnerable. It was also empowering to us cheering because we were active in lifting up those around us who were trying. Our paradigm shifted from seeing people “fail” to seeing people “try on their way to success.” After all, we all start somewhere.
Lesson 3 — Support Those Around You Without Hesitation or Procrastination
These last few months have taught us that we must not delay in how we care and tend to those around us. We must not wait to compliment, not wait to give praise, and not wait to offer assistance.
This next lesson comes from the last interaction I had with my dad before he passed suddenly. I was visiting him for a couple of weeks after not seeing for a while him due to the health crisis that hit us in 2020.
I guess it doesn’t matter how old you get, affirmation and support from your parents still pull the heartstrings.
He was weak, so there wasn’t a lot of talking between us, but this particular day he was feeling more spry, and out of the blue he told me how proud he is of me. That floored me. Not because this was a new sentiment, per se. I grew up in a very supportive and empowering home. No, I was floored because it was out of the blue and, maybe, because this was the first deep conversation we’d had in a while. I was a bit astonished at how much it meant to me being I was just into my 40s at the time. I guess it doesn’t matter how old you get, affirmation and support from your parents still pull the heartstrings.
At this particular time, I was struggling with some life decisions. His words, unknown to him, were like a life raft that scooped me up and kept me afloat as I grappled with my career. His words also breathed new life into me. I felt an immediate newness and vigor that I was lacking.
It is never too late or too soon to tell someone how important they are to you, how much you enjoy working with them, how integral their work is to the company, etc. What often seems like a small gesture can make the biggest impact on those around us.
These lessons are my constant guides and I reflect on them often. They truly change me for the better.
About the author: I live and breathe health, wellness, and business. I love helping other people find their joy and their next steps to living their best life. With 13+ years in executive roles, leading teams, and helping people and companies be their best, I want to unveil the curtain and give insights to help everyone grow.
